BREAK FREE
I am moving forward in time,
I am flying away,
Like a little eagle
That needs to grow up....
The world is a holistic universe
In which I find my own place
At the end of the day, I'm willing to
Pursue what my heart desires....
The cowboyds are coming together,
I just do my twist,
Cha cha cha cha Vulnerable Creatures....
LOOOOOL
Happy Happy Free Spirited Moods....
Anxiety Disorder is a very stressful disease to PUT UP WITH...It really strikes YOU so bad... It comes and goes, but IT NEVER LEAVES YOU FOREVER... It is a very bad mental sickness... I WISH I COULD HAVE IMAGINARY FRIENDS TO TALK rather than dealing with unbearable sickness... It puts me into a SUICIDAL MODE... IT MAKES ME FEEL SO DOWN that I CAN NOT GO OUT for a very long time... I do not WHY this happens to ME, BUT IN MY FAMILY, MY GRAN USED TO SUFFER FROM the same disease... SHE WAS GETTING CRAZY AND SO NASTY... WELL, I AM SO PROUD THAT I AM HER GRAND DAUGHTER...
SHE WAS CURSING ALL DAY AND NIGHT... LOOOOOOOOOL... I DO THE SAME AND TO BE HONEST I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY EVER... I HAVE NO FEARS, I JUST HAVE LOTS OF SHITS THAT I DID... I AM AFRAID OF NOTHING, I HAVE THIS ANXIETY ATTACKS DUE TO MY OWN FAILURES IN LIFE...WHAT IF A LIFE GIVES ME A SECOND CHANCE TO SURVIVE? LIFE IS A VERY LONG JOURNEY...
I am never HAPPY, ALL OTHER people can experience the feeling of JOY. ON THE CONTRARY, I AM VERY RESERVED PERSON AND I JUST DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANYONE AROUND ME... I KNOW THAT I WILL PASS AWAY ALONE... WHO CARES? WHO CARES? WHO CARES?
I HATE TO SEE PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS... I HATE THAT THEY BECOME A COUPLE... I HATE THAT THEY DO SUCCEED MANY THINGS IN THIS FUCKED UP LIFE... I HAVE SEVERE ANXIETY ATTACKS AND I LOSE THE CONTROL...
I HAD A MAJOR ATTACK TODAY AND IT TOOK ME 5 HOURS TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT... OF COURSE, THEY ALWAYS THREATHEN ME TO LOCK ME UP... LOOOOOOOOOOL... I WILL NEVER HAVE ANYONE SPECIAL BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER HANDLE ME AND MY SEVERE ATTACKS...
I AM SORRY FOR THEM MUCH BECAUSE THEY LOST ME... AS I ALWAYS SAY, I NEVER LOSE ANYONE... IF THEY NEVER CAN CHOOSE TO BE WITH ME, I CAN NEVER LOVE THEM FOREVER... THEY LOVE ME OR THEY HATE ME OR THEY DO MISS ME, I HAVE MY OWN ISSUES TO FIX AND I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING IN LIFE...
LIFE IS A SAD AND TRAGIC MOMENT IN WHICH WE WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A WASTE BAG... THEY THROW US AWAY, WE THROW THEM AWAY AND IT IS A VICIOUS CIRCLE THAT NO ONE CAN BE WITH THE OTHER ONE FOR A LONG TIME...
ANXIETY ATTACKS HURT ME PHYSICALLY, TOO. I GET WORSE AND I WILL NEVER GET BETTER...
IT IS A CHOICE AND I CHOOSE TO HAVE THESE ATTACKS...
MY GRAN GOT CANCER AND I AM THE NEXT...
LIFE WILL GIVE ME A WAY TO GET RID OF IT...
AS SHE ALWAYS SAID TO ME, DO NOT WORRY MY CHILD... YOU WILL BE FINE...
DO NOT FEEL WORRY ABOUT ME, WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN TRAGEDIES...
FOR GOD'S SAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, LEAVE ME ALONE IN MY DREAMS...
LEAVE ME ON MY OWN...
THE CRAZY MAN KISSES ME ALWAYS AND HE CROSSES THE LINES AND DOES NOT STOP KISSING ME LATELY... WHATEVER HE DOES, I DO NOT LOVE HIM... I AM NEVER HIS FRIEND...
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CRAZY...
GIVE PEOPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LONELY TIME BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WANT YOU....
I have struggled with mood swings again...It hits my fucking brain so bad... Anxiety screws my brain, my body and my soul... Once again, I had a brilliant MENTAL BREAKDOWN... It took me 10 hours to handle this SHIT... Once again, I swear on my GRAN that I ENJOYED TO SUFFER. This mood has turned to be a very CHILLY ONE at the moment. Well, I GAVE UP ON EVERYTHING... I swear I do not want to WORK and I swear I do not want to be wıth ANYONE... THAT IS A GOOD DECISION. From now on, I ONLY WANT TO WAIT FOR MY OWN DEATH... Sometimes, death comes very quick... I CURSED A LOT OF PEOPLE TO GET A BREAST CANCER... I GUESS MY NODULES GOT MORE STIFF... ON MY RIGHT BREAST I HAVE A VERY HUGE NODULE... I WANT IT TO GET BIGGER... LOOOOOOOOL...
Do you ever think that I WILL STOP CURSING PEOPLE? LOOOOOOOOOOL...
MY EX NEVER BELIEVED that I HAVE A NODULE AND I HAVE THE HUGE RISK TO GET A BREAST CANCER. FUCK HIM... HIS MOTHER WILL PASS AWAY... I NON STOP CURSING HIS MILF MOTHER... IF SHE GAVE ME HER HAIRY PUSSY, I WOULD FINGER HER FOR 24 HOURS... MMMMMMMMMMMMMM HER TASTE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DELICIOUS... MMMMMMMMMMMMM, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.... LOOOOOOOOOOOOL....
Lastly, ALL DAY I CURSED PEOPLE WHO HAVE A TEACHING JOB... I FEEL SO HAPPY THAT I WON'T BE A TEACHER... ANXIETY FUCKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ALL DAY, BUT I WANT TO FUCK PEOPLE'S LIVES MORE.... THE REASON I HAVE THIS ANXIETY ATTACKS IS NOT ONLY ONE, BUT AS A PSYCHIC I KNOW HOW TO HEAL MY MOOD... ASTRAL FUCK WITH A HOT INCUBUS CAN PUT ME IN A GOOD MOOD...
SORRY FOLKS, TONIGHT I WILL NOT MAKE IT EITHER... I WILL BE FUCKING A VERY HOT DEMON.... WHEN YOU GIVE YOUR SOUL TO DEMONS, YOU HAVE TO FEED THEM... IN RETURN, YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT EVENTUALLY....
ANXIETY IS MY BEST FRIEND... ANXIETY TURNS ME ON BECAUSE ANXIETY IS MY LIFE PARTNER AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOR MANY YEARS MORE... I WANT TO BE FUCKED EMOTIONALLY MORE BY DEMONS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT AT THE END OF THE DEMONIC TUNNEL, THEY WILL CLEAR MY PATH ONCE AGAIN... THE DESTINATION IS VERY VERY FAR TO TURKEY... TURKEY IS A TEMPORARY LOCATION BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THESE HOT DEMONS WILL MAKE ME MOVE OUT AGAIN. HOWEVER, UK WON'T BE THE COUNTRY I WILL MOVE.... CHINA IS OUT OF OPTION... THE REST, WE SHALL SEE.... A LOT OF FUCKERS ON EARTH PROVIDE JOBS, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ME THEY ALL DENY.... WHO CARES? I TOLD THAT I DO NOT WANT TO WORK... SIMPLE ENOUGH....
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING HUMANITY....
I NEVER LOVE ANY HUMAN BEINGS AND ANY FUCKING KIDS... THEN, WHY SHOULD I TEACH ENGLISH TO MOTHERFUCKER KIDS? MY PLACE IS IN A UNIVERSITY TO BE A LECTURER.... ONE DAY, THIS FUCKING SHIT WILL BE REAL... TILL THEN, LET ME FUCK PEOPLE'S LIVES....
OFF TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CURSE MANYYYYYYYYYYY MANYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PEOPLE THAT I HATE... MY LIST ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SO LONG... I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO CURSE MY EX BFS.... THE BITCHES AND WHORESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ARE MY CONCERN FOR TODAY... LOOOOOOOOOOL...
IF ANYONE WANNA A GOOD FUCK WITH ME, ADD ME ON SKYPE... JUST DROP AN EMAIL FOR FURTHER FUCKING... I WILL BE ALL NAKED... :) :) :)
SORRY FOR MEN... I ONLY WANT HOT FEMALES....
PUSSY TO PUSSY SKYPE ORGASM....
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...:))))
MY EX IS DUMB BECAUSE HE THINKS THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM MORE THAN 10 YEARS... I AM A FUCKING LESBIAN... POOR DUMB ENGINEER... HE SHOULD FUCK HIS OWN MILF MOTHER.... WE CAN FUCK TOGETHER THOUGH... LOOOOOOOOL....
ANXIETY FUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MY BRAIN BUT I FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ALL PEOPLE I HATEEEEEE WITH MY BOTH HANDS BY SENDING BAD ENERGIES... MY DEMONS CONTROL MY HANDS... I CAN'T STOP...
TILL NEXT TIME... ADIOS....
FOR HOT CHICKS, I WILL BE ALL NAKED... THINK ABOUT IT.... :)
Love makes us CRAZY... If you are an obsessive person, YOU GET OBSESSED WITH THE PERSON whom you love... It is an obsessive type of loving someone... Ofcourse, compared to normal human beings, it sounds quite abnormal... And I LOVE IT... The one I fell for a VERY VERY FAMOUS ACTOR... A Hollywood STAR... How come I fall for such a DICK? LOL LOL LOL LOL Well, HE TRIED 4 YEARS TO MAKE ME IN LOVE WITH HIM... The man gave his 4 years and he never wanted to be WITH ME... Actually, I GIVE NO FUCK... I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM, EITHER... Come on, ACTORS SHOULD BE TOGETHER WITH PEOPLE WHOM THEY BELONG TO THEIR OWN WORLD... Yeah, I'm fucking narrow-minded... Love CAN DRIVE YOU FULLY CRAZY... The man has asked me many times have you ever been in LOVE? He is not as smart as ME... Overall, he is just an action man...:) An action man can not compete with my INTELLIGENCE... FACE IT JOHN WICK!!!
The man thought that I had never fallen for anyone... WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! I fell for my EX BOYFRIEND... He did not try for years to make me LOVE HIM... He tried a few months and then I was very IN LOVE WITH HIM... I fucked the RELATIONSHIP UP and then HE LEFT ME FOREVER... FOR YEARS, I AM CURSING THIS BASTARD... Then, I never met anyone else serious... Therefore, I fell for JOHN WICK... SO WHAT? FUCK HIM AND ALL HIS MOVIES... I do not accept this ACTOR... This actor is not WELCOME into my life... Whatever IT IS, IT IS QUITE LIKE A SHIT...
The real question is WILL I FALL FOR ANOTHER MAN AND SETTLE DOWN? I DOUBT THAT... ASSHOLES NEVER WANT ME IN THEIR LIVES... THEY CAN'T HANDLE ME AND THEY TELL ME I AM CRAZY... EX used to tell me the same SHITS... I'M CRAZY BUT I AM NOT MENTALLY CRAZY... There is EVERYONE for all of us in this FUCKED UP life to ACCEPT US AND LOVE US AS WHO WE ARE... We can not find this person, but we can keep the FAITH up...
I honestly, FORGET whom I fall for easily when I FALL FOR ANOTHER... SO, IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME FOR ME TO FORGET THIS DICK MAN TOO... Overall, I FORGET THEM ALL... My emotions END... Whatever the road TAKES ME is my NEW MOTTO!!!
Currently, I meet many guys and I flirt with them lots. However, I can't date because I DO NOT WANT ANY INTIMACY... THIS SUCKS TOO... I DO NOT KNOW WHY I AM LIKE THAT...
I WANT TWO MEN IN MY LIFE AND BOTH OF THEM CAN'T STAND ON ME... BOTH OF THEM LOVE ME MUCH... THEY CAN'T GIVE UP THEIR PRECIOUS FUCKING JOBS TO SPEND A WHOLE LIFE TIME WITH ME... THEN, FUCK THEM BOTH FROM THEIR ASSES... I LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHOM CAN ONLY BE WITH ME... OF COURSE, IN THE WORLD, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE ALIKE ME AND THEN I WILL FIND HIM....
LOVE IS THE INSANE REFLECTION OF our own INNER CHILD... MY INNER CHILD IS NASTY, NAUGHTY AND OUT OF CONTROL... How about yours? FACE IT... Yours seems quite DEAD... I LOVE THE LOVE... I LOVE TO FALL FOR... I LOVE IT AND I SHALL NEVER QUIT...
I AM BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE, INSIDE I AM A PIECE OF UNBALANCED PUZZLE... No men can lose their time with me... POOR ACTOR AND POOR EX, THEY LOST THEIR TIME WITH ME... They are NOT WORTH MY TIME... When the NEW ONE COMES, I SHALL NEVER THINK OF ANY OF THESE... However, as I remember MY EX, I SHALL REMEMBER THE DICK ACTOR TOO... HIS DICK IS OUT OF ORDER ANYWAY... LOL LOL LOL LOL
THAT FEELS FUCKING GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD.....
THAT MAKES MEEEEEEE FEEL HIGH....
EX'S DICK IS OUT OF ORDER TOO...
THEY CAN'T EVEN FUCK ME.... I WOULD FUCK THEM BOTH IN ONE BED... LOL LOL LOL
THAT IS MY TYPE OF LOVE... HOW ABOUT YOURS? YOURS SEEM TO HAVE A LACK OF CONFIDENCE....
IF ANYONE LOVES ME AS WHO I AM, IF I LOVE THAT PERSON TOO, IT WILL WORK OUT... I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANY KIDS... I AM SURE THERE MUST BE A MAN THINKING THE SAME... IF I HAVE A KID, I WILL GO ABORTION TOO... NO MEN ACCEPT ABORTION... WHY? I DO NOT GET THE POINT... KIDS ARE FUCKING WASTE IN OUR LIVES... PREGNANT WOMEN ARE LIKE A PIECE OF FAT... I WOULD RAPE ALL PREGNANT WOMEN AND FUCK THEM HARDDDDDDDDD!!!
LOVE IS INSANE, SO TUNE INTO INSANITY....
HAPPY INSANE DAY EVERYONE...
I SHALL COME BACK WITH MORE SWEARING...:)
Anxiety is a major issue in my life... I have been suffering from anxiety disorder since I was a kid... However, I had been diagnosed by a professional BITCH in 2009. The Bitch never HELPED ME TO MAKE ANY PROGRESS... FUCK HER... LOLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
I think a lot of things at the same time... Constantly, I keep thinking stuff that are not related to one another... While I keep this activity up, I hear many voices in my head... They are all talking as a different person on my head... Most of the time, I have lots of headaches... Migraine is the BONUS.. LOL LOL LOL... I love IT, anyway...:)
Even in a dream state, my mind does not stop thinking and worrying... Thus, I wake up a lot while I am sleeping... I feel the pressure and stress... My heart beats abnormally so much... My heart gets weaker and weaker day by day... On the contrary, I DO NOT GET ANY HELP... BITCHES NEVER HELP... LOOK FUCK THEIR ASSES AS WELL... THEY SHOULD FIX THEMSELVES FIRST... yeah, that is my ATTITUDE... I LIKE TO BE BITCHY WHEN IT COMES TO PROFESSIONAL SCAMMERS... They take our money but they NEVER HEAL US.... FUCK THEM ALL....
I curse a lot... Ofcourse, it is a relaxation to cope with my ANXIETY... I have also OCD, Believe me, it gets worse with anxiety... Anyway, I enjoy to suffer... That is another problem... However, in the same day I have many different personalities... I can never learn to control my emotions... I lose my control... I SCREAM AND I HAVE SEVERE NEUROTIC ATTACKS... I SUFFER AND SUFFER, BUT GUESS WHAT? I LOVE ALL THESE CRISES...
When I was a kid, I used to hit my head on the walls and carpets on purpose to get ATTENTION... I think I hit it TOO MUCH... That's WHY I'M VERY ABNORMAL... I do not understand my own emotions... They are like waves in a dark ocean. One day, I miss my ex BF so much... I know that he will never RETURN BACK to me... FUCK HIM AND FUCK HIS PHD... HE COULD BE A GOOD FUCK, BUT HE WOULD NEVER BE MY HUSBAND... :)
Another day, I think of someone that I will never MEET... This is a deep issue... I will SKIP THAT.. I know that he will never CHOOSE ME AND BE WITH ME... FUCK HIM TOO... He has anxiety issues, too... He lies to HIMSELF... Look, I lie a lot too... I will be fine is my favorite MOTTO... FACE IT... People who have anxiety disorder will never BE FINE... Until they pass away, there won't be any permanent HEALING FOR THEM... Anyway, this is a hereditary ISSUE... However, imagine that I become a MOTHER one day... That child is FUCKED UP... She will SUFFER FROM ANXIETY... I sense that... I won't deal with her... Who cares about a LITTLE BASTARD? I WILL GET WORSE... Therefore, LOVE IS NOT FOR ME... PARTNERSHIP IS NOT FOR ME TOO... Marriage is a BULLSHIT AND U HAVE TO SIGN THE PAPER TO SPEND ALL YOUR LIFE WITH A SAME SHITTY MAN? LOL LOL LOL NO WAY...
IMAGINE, I WILL GET MARRIED... IN the last minute, I WILL SAY:"I'm very sorry, but I can't MARRY YOU! Maybe, NEXT TIME!!!" LOOOOOOOL...
I have many personalities hiding INSIDE ME... They are like shadows and they non stop pursue ME... They bother me a LOT... I am like an ANGEL if ONLY i want to be... I am like a demon as long as I WANT TO BE... That is the BITCHY SIDE OF ME... However, anxiety is the real trigger to make me TURN INTO A DEMONIC PERSON... Now, I would like to ask that whom is the real BLAME?
I know WHOM IS THE BLAME... However, SHE WAS THE ONLY PRECIOUS HUMAN BEING I HAD IN THIS MISERABLE LIFE... FORGET AND FORGIVE... I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HER LEAVING ME SO QUICKLY... WHEN SHE DIED, I WAS SWIMMING IN THE SEA AND SHOWING MY GRIEF LIKE THAT... I AM ABNORMAL... I LAUGHED AT HER COFFIN BECAUSE PEOPLE TOLD ME I CAN NOT LAUGH BECAUSE SHE IS MY GRANDMOTHER... THEY TOLD ME THAT I AM INSANE LITTLE BRAT... For a few years, I never visited her graveyard... That was THE GRIEF... I can't stop worrying and thinking about the past and the future... Therefore, I NEVER CAN LIVE IN THE MOMENT... FUCK THE MOMENT...
OVERALL, WE WILL ALL GO TO GRAVEYARD AND THAT IS THE ONLY PLACE WE CAN FIND PEACE AND FEEL BLESSED!!!
PS: A very famous actor told me to write in a BLOGGER. i DO NOT KNOW IF HE REALLY WANTED TO HELP ME OR NO. I want to give IT a TRY...
I honestly do not LOVE JOHN WICK... Anyway, he is just a movie character... I SHALL COME BACK MORE AS HE SAYS...:)
HAPPY SUFFERINGS FROM ANXIETY....
BE CALM AND SURRENDER...
A Real Psychic Vampire:)
